Snow

What I love about snow is that it makes everything so quiet. The loudness of the streets and the voices turns into silence. The only thing you can hear are your own steps, that you take through the ankle deep snow. And what I also love about snow is how you seem to share it with other people. Everyone goes out and has fun in the snow and no one cares about the cold air whilst building a snowman. We didn't have a carrot or a top-hat but we still manages to build a pretty cool snowman who was as tall as me and had a cute smile on his face. 

It was getting late and dark and a small thunderstorm had blended within the falling snow and so my boyfriend, his roommate and I decided to leave the park and head back home, where btw. he cooked me THE most amazing meal ever!

It's funny though. I don't seem to have any bad memories about snow. All my childhood memories about snow are amazing and my early twenties are even more amazing. Like the time around Christmas in 2010 when I started working at the theatre and my colleagues (who have turned into great friends) partied the whole night through and I had to walk home at 7 am on a Sunday in knee-deep snow and it didn't even bother me because I knew that whenever the snow would fall again, it would be a gentle reminder of those great nights I shared with people I care so much about. And my snowy memorie collections gets even more amazing because now the love of my life is taking up a whole new lovely chapter. And I am so calm at the thought of him being in all my future memories about snow. 

And as I smile to myself I keep wondering what is more beautiful: unknowingly creating memories or those memories coming back to you with the best timing. And as unique as each and every snowflake is, so are the feelings we saviour in our hearts.

Losing Touch

So I'm guessing this is what it's like to be in the middle of your twenties. I feel kind of lost because I don't really relate to the school girl version of me anymore and yet I am nowhere near being an adult. And if you were to ask me, this is bloody scary.

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with my life and on some level it is very nice and brings a lot of freedom. But the exact moment I tend to calm down about growing up I get a silent panic attack: Where do you see yourself in five years? Don't get me wrong, I am so appreciative of the life I am able to lead - from attending classes to drinking the night away with friends. And I always get over the little panic attacks because I figured, that in the end it'll all work out and that trying to plan your future is a waste of efford.

BUT! (believe me, capslock is appropriate) There's one thing that gets to me more than anything: Losing touch. As I said, I am not the school girl version of Chrissie anymore and all those people that were my best friends, are now strangers. I can't seem to communicate with them anymore. Whenever I see them somewhere we don't even stop to say "hi". Most of the time we just nod politely and walk on. It's as if w

Memorabilia from the early days around 2010. (picture from 2013)

e both knew something awful about the other person and we feel the best way to keep it a secret is to never speak to each other again. Ever. We spent so many hours together and even had a band and drank beer and sat through boring classes and comforted the other one when an exam didn't go so well and partied hard when we graduated from grammar school. As if we knew that this would be our last night as best friends, as closest people, we drank bubbly and sang along with our favourite songs. It scares me that not only we lost touch so rapidly, but also that mist of the time I don't even mind because at least it was real.

Let me tell you this: I would much rather lose touch to one real friend after the other than have no real friends at all. And as I am writing this I remember all those great times I had with those amazing people and one thing rings clear to me:

You may lose touch to people, people may lose touch to you. But none of you, those who have been there, will ever lose touch to the memories you created together.